Excuse me for saying this, but is it me or is it too hot to blog?
I'm roasting at the moment and can't find much time to blog because I've been stuck down a freezer all day. It annoying but I have to do it in order to survive. The bonobo monkey cannot live in temperatures much above 'lukewarm'.
No seriously folks, its been a busy old time up here, making plans, hatching plans, laying plans, hatching eggs, laying tables, making cakes, you know.. BUSY like.
Trying to sort out where the fack to live is one thing, one tiny little thing that could make or break our journies to work every day, there and back so we (me and me girl incase you didn't know) must choose carefully.
The jobs have been sorted (SEE PREVIOUS BLOG WITH RELIEVED BABY), but one more headache has been brought unto my attention. Over the weekend I went and visited Mr. Pencil for the Eurovision Thong Contest, and just as I was getting near his house my car started making odd non- car like noises.
'Sweet suffering fuck' I thought, 150 miles away from home.
I let it go, thought maybe it was just the heat getting to it. You know, how cars get really ratty and tired in the scorching heats just like us human beans?
I thought my car was feeling like that, because, you know, you would when you have no understanding of the mechanics of what makes these horseless carriages move in the first place.
After the party and feeling close to as bad as I've ever felt (...after a night of drinking much beer in my clothes in a bath full of cans of beer with Mr. Crumb initially against my will and then soon finding it the most liberating experience I'd had all May...) I made my merry way home. The car started fine and then, once I hit 40 mph, it began to shudder and shudder it did. Really bad. The passenger seat beside me looked like an epileptic, the back window looked like an earthquake was happening behind me. It was serious, but as long as I kept under 40 mph, I'd be fine.
Reading to Worcester usually takes an hour and 20.. Thats providing your car works properly i.e. moves from time to time.
It took me over 3 hours, in the baking heat, avoiding all motorways and going through thousands of small lovely looking villages with so many temporary traffic lights you simply wouldn't believe me, plus I was feeling thirsty, hungry and tired...
It was an endurance test but I made it back (I've actually forgotten the last 50 or so miles because of sheer trauma)..
Result: I need a new car, I'm sorry but my old one is officially going the way of all cars so... I may as well get a new one. eh?